Sunday, March 28, 2010

Narks 'n' Facebook.

I was at work last night (surprise, surprise) and it was annoyingly slow so I was lazily loitering near the bartender to pick up on bits and pieces of conversation. The musician that was appearing that night was taking a break and sitting on one of the barstools with beer and cell phone in hand. Suddenly, the musician started mentioning his brand new facebook account, and, taking me for a technologically-apt individual he pointed his questions at me. As I ran him through the process of friend requests and fan pages, he asked me what the point of friending someone was. I started using facebook on July 4th, 2007 (thanks to my ability to know useless facts, I actually know that exact date). I realized that I don't really talk to half of the people I'm "friends" with on facebook. In reality, if I passed some of these people, I probably wouldn't even wave. What the fuck. I'm very aware of awkwardness (because I live with it daily), and I just think the whole situation is awkward to the nth degree.

My town's police department has installed "narks" by making fake facebook accounts and friending all of the high schoolers so they can look through all of their pictures and spot illegal activity. I think high schoolers should learn a few crucial points to prevent any policeman from seeing incriminating evidence.

Here are a few lessons to be learned:

1. Do not take pictures of you and your friends holding Solo cups because you think it's something you can show your kids someday. It's not and it's also not as awesome as you think it looks.

2. Look for signs of a nark. Oh hey, his profile picture is a person skateboarding at a distance (hello google images) and his interests include "sk8ing wit mah homies XD". Yeah, no thanks.

3. If someone is friending you, don't be afraid of the ignore button. Think to yourself, have I ever shaken Eric Nico's hand? I know, I know, who shakes hands anymore? But think about it holistically, if you've seen their face and don't mind their personality, GO FOR IT otherwise, think twice.

That's all from me,

1 comment:

  1. So, where do I begin?
    From the beginning, of course :p

    Well, I was on YouTube watching part 4 of 13 of the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. (I had seen the movie before, but I just finished reading the book and felt it was only necessary to re-watch it.) Anyway, while I was letting it load on this terrible wifi, I noticed your comment about one of the characters, Billy Bibbit.

    Let's do a quick copy and paste here:
    1 day ago

    the guy with the stutter is adorable. 

    So, seeing that comment, I thought I'd reply to it and tell you that character's name was Billy Bibbit, but the damn wifi, as mentioned a moment ago, is terrible! I clicked and clicked and clicked on everything just to see if my connection got back to working, and accidentally clicked on your profile. Well, being the curious guy that I am, I saw a link to your blog thingy and clicked on that too. I started reading some of your stuff and it was actually pretty funny! But not funny in the comedic type of way, but just naturally conversational type funny, y'know? I really enjoyed reading it.
    I thought I'd comment on one of your posts and hopefully you'd notice it. I haven't read much, but I thought this one was a hoot! I've seen things like that on the news about cops making Facebook profiles and all that in hopes of catching some underage teens doing some illegal activity. Ridiculous xD I don't know who the hell they think they're fooling, really.

    Anyway, I wanted to try and contact you and get to know you. You seem like a cool broad, and I've become a fan of your posts :p
    And NO, I'm not a damn cop! ahahah.

    Hopefully you'll respond to this. Add me on Facebook, wouldja? My name's Daemon Stashko.

    Thanks :)